NEW Book Cover!

My new paperback will be available in a few weeks on Amazon. The 2nd Edition is already on Kindle! Cover by Barb Burke.

Colonization is an Act of Genocide

The following appplies in North America but since it is not taught in schools, apparently Native People are not considered to be the colonized. I beg to differ... Trace

Maori and Indigenous Analysis Ltd

Colonisation is an act of Genocide

Màori researcher Dr Leonie Pihama says the use of the term holocaust is an
appropriate and valid description of the impact of colonial genocide on Màori. A
Radio New Zealand panel featured Taranaki Màori academic Keri Opai using the
word holocaust to describe colonisation for Màori. The NZ Jewish Council said
his use of the term was "diminishing and trivialising of the Jewish Holocaust
experience". Dr Pihama says the NZ Jewish council are "basically incorrect" in
their response. She states "The term holocaust refers to deliberate acts of
genocide and ethnocide against groups of people, and that is exactly what
occurred here in Aotearoa. There was a deliberate and planned process of
colonisation that sought the extermination of our people. That is clear and well
documented".

United Nations conventions define genocide as "any of the following acts
committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical,
racial or religious group , as such: as killing members of the group;

(i) killing members of the group;

(ii) causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;

(ii) deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to
bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;

(iii) imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;

(iv) forcibly transferring children of this group to another group

The definition of genocide by the United Nations is clearly one that reflects
the experience of Màori people and there needs to be a greater awareness of the
reality of the history of this country and of other Indigenous Nations. "There
is clear historical evidence of acts of genocide that were undertaken by
successive white settler Presidents in America. Hitler modelled many of his
oppressive acts on the forced removal and murder of Native Amerian people and
the imprisonment of thousands in concentration camps" states Dr Pihama.

Dr Pihama notes that Màori use of the term 'holocaust' should not be viewed
as in any way diminishing the experience of Jewish people and others that were
targeted by Hitler and Nazi Germany. She says clearly that Maori have always
actively acknowledged that history and the impact of it. Dr Pihama explains
"This is not about comparing experiences. The reference by Mr Opai is directed
to the historical trauma and post traumatic stress experienced by our tupuna and
generations of our people who continue to live with that impact on our own
land".

http://www.scoop. co.nz/stories/ PO1202/S00076/ colonisation- is-an-act- of-genocide. htm

Closed adoptions are a form of cultural genocide... Trace

Looking for guest bloggers...

I am taking a hiatus to handle some personal issues that need my time and undivided attention. This blog will still be up and you can read earlier blog posts from the archive. There is plenty to read since I started posting way back in 2009.
If anyone wants to write a guest column, email me: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com.
Keep good thoughts for me... your prayers are appreciated...
Mitakuye oyasin...
Trace

Jennifer Lauck on how her birth mother's sexual history affected her own

This incredible interview with Jennifer Lauck, author of FOUND, struck a chord with me. Please read it:
http://www.examiner.com/open-adoption-in-national/jennifer-lauck-on-how-her-birth-mother-s-sexual-history-affected-her-own

Excerpt:
There has been a belief that the moment a child is taken from her original mother she ceases being that woman's child. This is one of the reasons many want to adopt a baby rather than an older child. They believe they are getting a "blank slate." Many people will go as far as to adopt from far away lands--as far away as possible -- so that they get the "blank slate" and as a bonus eliminate the chance that the original mother will reappear and take away what supposedly belongs to the adoptive parent -- the child, the relationship, the connection, the concept of family and so on. There is great ignorance in this thinking--similar to the thinking years ago that babies don't feel pain and thus were operated on without the mercy of anesthesia or pain blockers. Of course, science has now shown us otherwise. Babies feel pain. And you cannot stop a child from being connected to the original mother. Yes, you can take legal measures, you can take geographic measures, but you cannot change the fact of the biological link.
To further expand on this, consider this remarkable passage from Meredith Hall, author of Without a Map: "women carry fetal cells from all the babies they have carried. Crossing the defensive boundaries of our immune system and mixing with our own cells, the fetal cells circulate in the mother's bloodstream for decades after each birth. The body does not tolerate foreign cells, which trigger illness and rejection. But a mother's body incorporates into her own the cells of her children as if they recognize each other. This fantastic melding of two selves, mother and child is called microchimerism....the mother's cells are also carried in the child. During gestation, maternal cells slip through the barriers of defense and join her child's cells as they pulse through his veins...of course the implications are stunning. Mother and child do not fully separate at birth. We do not lose each other at that moment of severance."

As I wrote in my memoir One Small Sacrifice, the new science of birth psychology will forever change the way the world views adoption and its impact.
There are follow-up interviews with Jennifer at that website, a virtual blog tour - so please read them, too... Trace

Toronto Birthmother story

I had to share this. A birthmother wrote in response to this: http://splitfeathers.blogspot.com/2011/04/red-road-documentary-from-canada-60s_11.html

I am so happy that this lost spirit has found his roots after living a life of not knowing where he fit in! I have never given up the hope that one day my son who was taken from me at birth will somehow find his true family. I just hope that it isn't too late for us to join each other. I have always believed that my son is out there someplace and he will come home soon. He was taken from me on October 17,1976 from Toronto General Hospital. I was told that he died at birth. I never was asked if I wanted to see or hold him. To tell him how much his mommy loves him. I was just a young mother with a child of 11 months at home and a baby that I so wanted to bring home. I never was told where or when he was buried never laid eyes on him ever. I felt that something wasn't right but I was to with drawn from the loss that I just couldn't bare the loss. To this day the thoughts of it burns at my insides. I never knew about the 60's or 70's scoop until just with-in the last few years. That is when I got my answers to what happen. I believed that my baby boy was more then likely one of the native children that was scooped that day. I hope that this man isn't bitter towards his true Mom for what he went through. May the Creator bless him with true happiness in his life now that he has found his true identity as a Proud Native Man. From this story of this man it gives me the added hope that my son to will find me some day.
Signed BM (which means birthmom)

Remember this adoptees - closed adoption was used as a weapon! First Nations Families, please start your search now...If you need my help, email me... Trace (tracedemeyer@yahoo.com)

 

Interview: Buffy Sainte-Marie

Buffy is not only a world famous Native American music legend but she's also an adoptee. I mention her and many others in my memoir One Small Sacrifice.
As I wrote in the Talking Stick article "Generation after Generation We are Coming Home": Being creative is an effective outlet for grief this enormous... (meaning our loss of identity and tribal family as adoptees/Lost Birds is healed with creativity and using our gifts.)
Like Buffy, we all have gifts...
Read the interview here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-ragogna/better-late-than-never-a_b_1172096.html

One Small Sacrifice on Facebook



One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir, on Kindle now, www.amazon.com

One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir has its own Facebook Page!
https://www.facebook.com/Splitfeathers
Please click and join many other adoptees and supporters who share news, advice and information on my book page.
The brand new 2nd Edition of my memoir is on Kindle now and will be published in paperback in early February! This new edition has more discoveries about my opening my adoption.
Thanks, Migwetch and Pilamaye for your kindness, support and much-appreciated comments on this blog...
Trace

Celebrity Adopter Sheryl Crow (not one word about privacy and trauma)

My thoughts? What is classic news coverage when a celebrity adopts?
Bravo for Madonna, Brad and Angelina, Elton John, Ms. Sheryl Crow, and all the others.
We know it's not possible to hide anything when you're the celebrity and you adopt.
Public Relations is for us to think how great and wonderful the adopter is and how lucky the adoptee is, right?

Let's take Sheryl Crow and all the news last year when she adopted again.
Had Ms. Crow considered how the news would affect her sons Levi and Wyatt when they're adult men? They did not choose to be abandoned or adopted. They had no privacy. How will they feel being called the adopted sons of Sheryl Crow forever? Did Entertainment Tonight consider the boys rights before they showed their photos?

Does Madonna or Crow have a clue how adoptees are treated by their peers and bio-siblings in the real world?
How will Crow shield them from the cruel bastard label and the embarrassment they were abandoned by their own mothers? Will Levi and Wyatt be expected to show their gratitude to her and be silent around her about everything else?

Or were these open adoptions so the boys will know their natural mother's identity, their ancestry and their medical history? We can only hope, right?

Did Ms. Crow hire a surrogate? That's never mentioned but it won't change the boys emotional trauma.

What horrible thing happened that her sons were not able to be raised by their own mothers? That's carefully omitted in adoption propaganda and celebrity stories. They'll direct our attention to the famous rich person and have us forget the birth mothers and her loss entirely. The adoptee is considered lucky and now rich.

Do celebrities ever wonder how an adoptee feels after adoption? 
Crow is rich and famous, but her boys will still require truth, reality and plenty of emotional support! Makes you wonder if Crow has a clue about birth psychology, their severe narcissistic injury, PTSD and an adoptee's primal wound (read Nancy Verrier). There's trouble ahead if Crow denies it exists.

Publicity fills the ego of the celebrity narcissist and the hungry public eats it up.

We are supposed to believe Crow SAVED these boys, right? That's one of the adoption industry's clever ways to keep its business running smooth and encourage more women to abandon their children for adoption to the rich, better-off and famous. Forget those pesky rumors about reactive attachment disorders in adoptees!
Sappy stories about MS. CROW ahd her two adopted sons is great publicity for her obviously- but not for the two boys who will have to deal with their adopee label and adoption trauma their entire life... Trace

Adoptee Rights Coalition - the Fight to obtain our Original Birth Certificates: Register to Attend the 2012 Adoptee Rights Demonst...

Adoptee Rights Coalition - the Fight to obtain our Original Birth Certificates: Register to Attend the 2012 Adoptee Rights Demonst...: August 6th, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois Chicago...it's our kind of town!  

I am going to try and attend this one!

Altar of Unknown

River, Blood, And Corn: Altar of Unknown: By Lisa Marie Rollins... I have two rituals before I unpack the first box to set up in a new house. I start at my front door, light a stick...

This beautiful commentary reminds me of friends and the rituals we create for our missing families....
May 2012 be the year when Adoption is no longer a weapon and its secrecy finally exposed, uprooted and destroyed for its harm to us, the adoptees... Trace

Time before birth is important: ORIGINS

Ted Talk – Author of “Origins”

30NOV

Shit People Say to Adoptees (R-rating)

http://bitchyouleftme.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/shit-people-say-to-adoptees/

This will make you growl and smile! I promise!
Trace

Resolution: Michigan Indian Family Preservation Act

MICHIGAN JUDGES ASSOCIATION Resolution in support of Michigan Indian Family Preservation Act
WHEREAS, the Michigan Judges Association is committed to the

improvement of the process and outcomes of child protection cases throughout

the State of Michigan; and

WHEREAS, the Conference of Chief Justices through Resolution 5, 2011 and

the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges through separate

resolutions, recognize that tribal courts serve the children and families of

sovereign nations with the same authority and responsibility as state courts; and

WHEREAS, the Conference of Chief Justices encourages each state court

judge to communicate and collaborate with their tribal court counterparts when a

Native American child or family may be involved in a case, and the National

Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges is committed to complying with the

letter and spirit of the Indian Child Welfare Act; and

WHEREAS, the Michigan Judges Association has a history of working to

improve state-tribal court relations through Michigan’s Court Improvement

Program including: the creation of an ICWA Court Resource Guide; statewide

ICWA training for state and tribal justice systems; ICWA training for new state and

tribal judges; ICWA amendments to the Michigan Court Rules; and proposed state

ICWA legislation to encourage and reinforce compliance with the letter and spirit

of the law by state court justice systems.

BE IT THEREFORE RESOLVED, that the Michigan Judges Association supports

the adoption and enactment of the proposed Indian Family Preservation Act by

the Michigan legislature, in recognition of its ongoing commitment to improve the

process and outcomes of child protection cases throughout the State of Michigan.

http://turtletalk.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/resolution-in-support-mifpa-2.pdf


[The Judges passed this unanimously! If every state did this, we could celebrate!...Trace]

About the First Nations Repatriation Institute

My Conversation With Sandy White Hawk, Sicangu Lakota Adoptee 
By kostvollmers | September 13, 2011 

URL: http://wp.me/p1Alq6-rV 

The following chat with Sandy is lengthy and so I’ll keep my comments
brief.  We here at Land of Gazillion Adoptees are huge fans of the
Adoptees Have Answers (AHA) Advisory Group.  Sandy and the advisory
group’s other members are certified rockstars, and I would strongly
suggest all adoptive parents and adoption agencies in MN to take a
close look at what the group and its members are doing for the
adoption community. 

Enjoy.
____________________ 

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: Parents love talking about their kids.
Would you mind talking about yours? What do they do? What do they
like? 

Sandy: I have two children. My daughter, who is 34, just graduated
with her MFA from the University of Madison, WI. She and her fiancé
have a 9-year-old daughter. Right after she graduated they moved from
WI and are now going to make their home in Minnesota. My son, who is
28, graduated with his BA in American Studies from the University of
Minnesota. He also lives here in the state. He has worked in community
development and is currently looking for work in the nonprofit sector. 

I started using when I was 14 years old and became an addict. I got
clean when I was 28; my daughter was 5. It took five years sobriety
for me to begin to heal enough to parent in a healthy way. 

I am proud of my children for many reasons. What I am thinking about
today is how both  of my children have accomplished more than I had
when I was their age. They both are confident and living drug and
alcohol free lives. They have chosen to live our Lakota way of life --
a life of balance and drug and alcohol free. They made this decision
when they were in college. I think this amazes me so much because I am
a recovering addict. I have been sober for 30 years. The cycle of
addiction and abuse stopped with me, and now I can grow old knowing my
grandchildren live in balanced and loving homes. 

watch?v=ZH-BHvACYiw 

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: Thanks for sharing that, Sandy. For
readers who don't know you, would you mind giving an overview of your
work with the First Nations Orphans Association and the Truth Healing
and Reconciliation community forums? 

Sandy: First Nations Orphan Association is now First Nations
Repatriation Institute. It’s basically the same with some additions.
The term First Nations people is used when referring to American
Indians or Native Americans.  An elder advised us that we were a
people of Nationhood pre-Columbian contact; we had governments. We
were the First Nations of this land. And the term repatriation comes
from the Latin word repatriatre – to go home again, to restore or
return to the country of origin, allegiance or citizenship. 

The overall purpose of First Nations Repatriation Institute is to
create a resource for First Nations people impacted by foster care or
adoption to return home, reconnect and reclaim their identity. The
Institute also serves as a resource to enhance the knowledge and
skills of practitioners who serve First Nations people. The First
Nations Repatriation Institute will eventually fill a significant gap
in resources available for First Nations people. There is currently no
organized effort at a local, state, national or international level to
address the needs of people separated from their culture by foster
care or adoption. 

Specifically, the First Nations Repatriation: 

Connects First Nations Adoptees with other First Nations Adoptees;
Supports First Nations people in searches for relatives during family
reunification;
Assists First Nations Adoptees with tribal enrollment;
Supports emotional, physical and spiritual health of all adoptees/
fostered individuals, their families and communities in accordance
with First Nations peoples’ traditional spiritual heritage;
Provides consultation and education to social service providers and
mental healthcare providers and the legal system in the cultural
traditions and values of First Nations people.
As for Truth Healing and Reconciliation Community Forums, they are day
long events that bring together First Nations adoptees and fostered
individuals with other adoptees, professionals and community and
spiritual leaders to strategize ways to address post adoption issues
and ultimately lower the rate of child removal. 

Truth: At the forums, we have adoptees, fostered individuals and birth
relatives share their stories. Social workers, Guardian ad Litems,
adoption professionals, judges, lawyers and others hear first hand the
long-term effects of being raised outside of culture and away from
family. For many adoptees/fostered individuals and other family
members, their life stories for the first time have a purpose. The
many years they spent wondering why they had to go through years of
isolation, anxiety and often depression are used to educate those who
work with Indian families. 

Healing: At the forums, we do not to blame and attack those who
represent the child welfare system. This brings about great results,
as demonstrated by the following response from a participant: 

“Another circle I was in was powerful as two small brothers told their
stories of being taken from their families and who were still in
placement. Their story of abusive foster homes and what they went
through was painful to hear. A white lady social worker was there and
she broke down. She cried so hard her shoulders shook. She apologized
to the boys, although she had not worked with them. She apologized to
the ones she had taken from their families. She apologized for not
understanding and not listening and just following those policies of
her organization. I cried when one of the little boys got up, went to
her, put his hand on her shoulder and said, ‘It’s ok. It isn’t your
fault.’ He allowed her to hug him. The strength of spirit that little
one possessed amazed me. He was so small in physical form, but mighty
and pure in spiritual form. As she held him she said she would do
things differently (I hope she did and is still doing it).”
Reconciliation: At the forums, the recognition is made that
Reconciliation begins with the individual in a process of sharing. It
is not an event. It is a process that begins after Truth and Healing.
Truth Healing and Reconciliation Community Forums provide a space and
time to establish new relationships, evaluate and reflect for change. 

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: Wow. That’s some fantastic stuff... Based
upon your experience, what do you think is the biggest need for
adoptees here in Minnesota? 

Sandy: The biggest need for Minnesota adoptees is access to their
original birth certificates. I would take it a step further and say
that we should also have access to our social work case files. Why
not? It is our history, no one else’s. We have no idea how many birth
mothers and fathers would welcome the release of guilt and shame
through meeting their relinquished children. Access to records could
be a first step in the healing process. 

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: Word to that... 

One Small Sacrifice

One Small Sacrifice
Trace reading her book

 

Music by Bryan James Gatten

From the CD "Northscapes" copyright 2009 Two Jeez productions
Available on iTunes.

ICWA law at center of adoption controversy

ICWA law at center of adoption controversy
fox23.com
OKLAHOMA - The Indian Child Welfare Act went into effect 34 years ago, and supporters of the family of Veronica, a girl who was in the process of being adopted by a South Carolina couple, say it was improperly applied to this case.

The horrific comments after this story are very telling about the actual understanding of the sovereignty of tribes and their members...Trace

SD Governor critical of NPR reporting

No useful data in NPR report on Indian children?

Gov. Dennis Daugaard said he didn’t gain any useful information from a controversial 2011 public radio series on American Indian foster children in South Dakota.

Read story here: http://www.mitchellrepublic.com/event/article/id/61208/

Excerpt:  Laura Sullivan, a National Public Radio investigative correspondent, produced a three-part series titled “Native Foster Care: Lost Children, Shattered Families” that was heard on NPR’s “Morning Edition” and “All Things Considered” in October 2011.

The series said South Dakota was one of 32 states that did not comply with the federal Indian Child Welfare Act and other laws. It said state social workers had entered Indian reservations with which the state has no agreement and removed tribal children from their homes.

Writing My Wrongs

Writing My Wrongs

Opinion versus Defamation in Adoption Blogging

What is libel and what is violation of privacy? Suz answers these questions.

Is Adoption ALL I Ever Think About?

Read Amanda's post about this - The Declassified Adoptee: Is Adoption ALL you Ever Think About? (Some New Stuff)

SO - Is adoption all I ever think about? Nope, but the overall topic and history of adoption is imbalanced and I do think about that often.

I started this American Indian Adoptees blog in 2009 to express how my being adopted affected me and how I found (some pretty horrific) adoption history affecting Native Americans when I was writing my memoir One Small Sacrifice. I never expected to uncover what I did about the genocidal Indian Adoption Project(s) and Programs.

To maintain some balance, I've asked other adoptees like Leland and Johnathan to post their views in guest blogs.

If I find new Lost Children/adult adoptees, I'll publish their interviews and/or news.

It's a fact adoptees are still struggling, and too many are still hoping to have a reunion with their tribe and birthparents.

Adoptees have not been respected enough, in my view. You can see this with numerous archaic adoption laws in the USA, no access or limited access to our records and a billion dollar adoption industry who prefers to hide their secrets and preserve their myths.

It's also fact that being adopted lasts your entire life. There is no escape. There are complications and twists every turn. I tell my own evolving story on this blog.

To heal this experience, you educate yourself. Finding out you are not alone does help. Reading about adoption history helps, too, and can make you stronger. Use the google search bar to find topics already posted on this blog.

I often read other blogs by adoptees. (See my list of favorite blogs in the left column).

Until all adoption records are opened everywhere and unconditionally, I am not stopping! I will blog, write, do more research and post news.

If you have news or research you want to share with other Lost Birds/Adoptees, let me know. If you need help, email me: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com
Thank you for your continued support and your comments..... Trace

The Broken Circle (Movie trailer) 2012

The Broken circle (trailer 2012) from mathieu saliva on Vimeo.
Documentary about Sioux Lakotas (LGM productions) 1895 : Buffalo Bill leaves for Europe with his touring circus, the Wild Wild West Show. Among the artists you can find the legendary Native American Sioux chiefs Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse… Some of them are abandoned or willingly remain in Marseille & Paris. Today, their descendants live in the south of France. Their ancestors left them a heritage that no one suspected existed... Until now…

Lost Daughters: What my adoption cost me

(posted on lost daughters blog on january 17)

What adoption cost me

By Trace A. DeMeyer, author of One Small Sacrifice: A Memoir

Someone asked me recently what had adoption cost me personally.

What a loaded question, I shot back in my email. I said I needed to think about it.

Obviously I didn't ask to be adopted!

This situation was thrust on me by a damaged 22-year-old small-town Wisconsin girl who loved Chicago night-clubbing and partying too much. She didn't want me after my 28-year-old father (also a big drinker) kicked her out. He moved back to his Illinois farm-town and found a new wife. She went to an unwed mothers home in Minnesota and signed me away.

If my soul wanted a big test this lifetime, this was clearly the route to take.

Finding out neither would ever look for me? That painful discovery cost me.

What kind of man would desert a woman carrying his child and who would tell a woman she cannot keep her own baby? Who made them this way?  Belief systems, religions, social workers, neighbors, parents, judges, priests? Even your own family can be so damaged, it's risky to find them. There are times now I wish I had never looked but I had to know why I was adopted. Taking risks to find out the truth cost me years.

Being told by my natural mother to never contact her again? That rejection cost me.

I made all the moves, made all the calls, did all the travel and took all the risks to find both parents. I put myself out there to join a family who didn't even know I existed or cared that I did. That hurt cost me.

The adoption trade in babies was booming in the 1950s. In my opinion my adoptive parents were not carefully screened. Despite his raging alcoholism and their marital discord after two miscarriages, Catholic social workers still qualified them to be my parents. Very young I was sexually molested by my adoptive dad. That betrayal cost me.

I had to pretend for years I was alright when really I wasn't. I tried to live up to their expectations and be the baby they lost. That impossible situation cost me.

My adoptive parents didn't know adopting kids won't fix a marriage and might even make it worse! I had to suppress my shock and disappointment in them for too long. It took me years to get therapy and counselling that worked.  This delay cost me.

My lack of trust and being able to love someone cost me a marriage.

Many years later I was shocked to learn my ancestry. My father, who had the Native blood, didn't intervene to keep me. How did that make me feel? Betrayed.

I had no idea what to think about being Tsalgi since there was no one alive to reconnect me to my tribal culture. That cost me.

How can you measure cultural loss when there is no dollar amount or apology that can undo what happened? There is no way to get that back.

What did adoption cost me? Everything.

What did adoption give me? The strength to persevere.

 

Email me: tracedemeyer@yahoo.com with questions, comments and your own experience.

Questions about Mitt and the Mormons

Image from the Book of Mormon: Swords: Many critics of the Book of Mormon state that it is common knowledge that swords such as those described in Alma 24:12-15 did not exist in meso-america prior to the arrival of the Spanish Conquistadors, despite what the Book of Mormon says.

Read more here: 

http://the-book-of-mormon.com/photo-proofs.html

Several Native adoptees who are new friends were adopted by Mormons. And there are more than a few Native Americans and Alaska Natives who follow Joseph Smith and the Mormon religion.
I remember living in Wyoming back in the 1980s and heard what a serious religion it is - no soda/pop, no dancing, no drinking, etc.  The joke in Jackson Hole was "Mormons act like God can't see over the Tetons." Mormons apparently broke many of their rules visiting Wyoming saloons - out of Utah and out of sight, I guess.
(By the way, I heard the fabulous Mormon Tabernacle Choir in concert in Wyoming.)
Friends tell me if you are Mormon, you had to give them a copy of your income tax paperwork because you are required to tithe 10% of your income each year - no exceptions!
I am not bashing anyone's religion here but I do question why so many Native American children were adopted by the Mormons and converted to this religion. There was an official Mormon Indian Adoption Program where they took thousands of tribal children per year, many from the southwest. Some adoptive families had 10+ children in each family.
My friend Joan had a son who married a Mormon girl in Salt Lake City but Joan wasn't allowed in the Mormon church to watch the wedding (later they did a vow repeat for the non-Mormons at a restaurant reception.) Why can't a mother watch her son marry a Mormon since she will be the girl's mother-in-law? What is about Mormon's documenting all their genealogy - it seems every ancestry site is now owned by the Mormon Church?
With the Mormon "Mitt" trying for the White House, I have many questions and not enough answers about this religion.
I do hope someone adopted by a Mormon family will offer to write a guest blog (please) and help me and others understand...What exactly is the Mormon religion? Or is there a rule you can't speak about it?

Be someone you cannot be? please watch

Source: http://www.lifeworkscommunity.com/news/lecture/adoption-and-addiction.html

I do agree: an impossible job description: be someone you cannot be... adoption causes grief...hunger for attachment...trauma played out...catastrophic thinking...enormous wound at beginning of life...PTSD... Absolutely... Yes, all true... Trace

ICWA and the Media

by Kate Fort http://turtletalk.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/icwa-and-the-media/

There has been a lot of ICWA talk in national and local news this week due to a case we linked to here. I spoke with a person at the CNN In America blog (nothing up there yet) just about the general provisions of ICWA, and what struck me in that conversation was how few people today still know nothing about this law.

This same week we had two cases argued at the Michigan Supreme Court on notice compliance. We're having a meeting  about enacting a state ICWA law here in Michigan. We received a link to this  newsletter about ICWA compliance and monitoring at the trial court level in Minnesota. Sometimes it feels like ICWA is everywhere, if a person knows where to look for it. And yet most national media coverage of the Act is usually so biased and ignorant there's no way the coverage doesn't gin up serious opposition to the Act (the recent exception to this was NPR's excellent three part series on ICWA and foster care in South Dakota). And thus one, relatively minor, conundrum--talk to the media about the Act in the hopes of gaining a semblance of balance, or ignore the media in a case that is putting a child in the middle of that very media storm?

The case garnering this attention is difficult to get a handle on, fact-wise, and we're hesitant to add more commentary or links here, as we can't believe this level of attention is good for the child. It certainly isn't good attention for the Act, given the adoptive parents' full-out assault on it. There's a reason these cases are usually, or ought to be, anonymous. Regardless, we publish the Cherokee Nation's statement here to one media outlet, since it points out it has called on the court for both a gag order, and to release the final order (something we'd certainly feel more comfortable commenting on, rather than inconsistent media accounts):

Chrissi Ross Nimmo, the Assistant Attorney General who represented the Cherokee Nation in this case, gave FOX23 this statement:
“As a matter of law and policy, the Cherokee Nation’s attorney general’s office generally does not comment on juvenile cases due to their sensitive nature and confidential information. In an effort to quell the undue outside attention to this sensitive affair, the Cherokee Nation attorney general’s office filed a motion for a gag order in this case Wednesday afternoon, along with a motion to release the judge’s final order to the public. I ask that all parties involved in the matter respect the confidential nature of these juvenile court proceedings. The Cherokee Nation has 115 Indian Child Welfare employees and nine assistant attorneys general who work tirelessly to fight for the rights of Cherokee children and their parents, not only within our 14-county jurisdiction, but in tribal, state and federal courts across the nation.  The Indian Child Welfare Act was written to help keep Native American children with their families whenever possible – a concept embraced wholeheartedly by the Cherokee Nation.”

I want to add that this blog hopes to cover the violations of Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) to create awareness of the violations but not to identify or endanger any person's privacy... There is still much work to do in America...Trace 

Once Was Von: Search and Reunion Etiquette

Once Was Von: Search and Reunion Etiquette: Search and Reunion Etiquette: - : Do be very discreet. Do not, if at all possible, discuss the adoption story with anyone except the person ...

YES, there should be rules to this - and support for all those in reunion. Great post Von!
Trace